where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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