Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
