a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
