Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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