I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
