sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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