You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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