She is in my trunk
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
