Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
