and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
