I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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