whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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