Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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