im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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