he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
