no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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