halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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