where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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