I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
