i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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