Just fell off a train. Bad.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its not stalking. its research.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
