Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
