Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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