I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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