At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
