Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just pee around me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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