Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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