therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize