I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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