Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
