You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
