it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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