If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
