Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
