...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
