Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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