can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
