i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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