It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just pee around me
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
