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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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