I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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