She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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