By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
