You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
