Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
