It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
