Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
