Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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