Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
