Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
third nipple confirmed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
