hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Rumble strips road head = magical
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
