What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
