can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
