dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
