"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize