You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
